Depending on the age of your child, a pacifier can be a very good soothing tool.
During my pregnancy I was convinced that I would not use a pacifier: what you do not start, you don't have to "un-teach", I thought. But after the birth of Lucas he was suddenly inconsolable despite his full stomach and despite I had just changed his diaper. I was exhausted after a difficult birth and the nurse asked me if I wanted to try a pacifier... A bit hesitantly I said yes and when I gave Lucas the pacifier, he was immediately calm. YAY.
But when is the pacifier a good soothing tool and when is it time to say goodbye?
I'd be happy to explain it to you!
0 tot 3 months
A pacifier is a great tool for settling a newborn baby who just wants to suck. It has a calming and soothing effect on your baby.
It also helps with sleep: sleep cycles are not yet established and babies often use the pacifier to help themselves back to sleep.
For breastfeeding moms it is usually recommended to wait 2 to 3 weeks until breastfeeding is going well. However, I would like to make an important remark here: do you feel totally overwhelmed because you have to nurse your baby so frequently? It could be that it's not always due to hunger, but because your baby needs to suck a lot. A pacifier can be a great help in your situation as well.
Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, never use a pacifier to skip feedings. That is not the intention. Has your child just had a feed and still has a high need to suck? Then a pacifier can help.
TIP: To encourage your newborn baby to hold the pacifier securely in his/her mouth, you can occasionally "pull" a little on it. Your baby will then learn to suck harder and the nipple won't fall out of their mouth so often.
4 to 7 months
After 3 months, that original need to suck becomes more of a habit. If you continue to use the pacifier regularly, it can become a sleep association.
The pacifier often causes the most problems in this age group. Your child is learning new skills such as rolling and if your child is no longer swaddled, they move their arms a lot during sleep. As a result, the pacifier often gets knocked out of its mouth. Your child may then wake up every time because it misses the pacifier to be able to fall back asleep. This can happen very frequently and suddenly you have to get up 10 times to put the pacifier back in its mouth, because your child is still too young to learn how to handle it on their own. You have a few options at this point that can help you:
You choose to leave out the pacifier altogether. "Cold turkey" is the best method here. At this age, it can still be done quite easily by doing some extra comforting where necessary for a few days.
You choose to ditch the pacifier during naps and night sleep. Some parents don't feel comfortable saying goodbye to the pacifier at this point. After all, it can be useful to still have the pacifier at hand during that sudden outburst in the store or as an extra comfort tool during illness, for example. In that case, choose to leave out the pacifier from the start of your sleep ritual. That way there is a clear distinction between daytime activities where the pacifier can still be used for comfort, but won't form a sleep association.
You choose to just keep using the pacifier. This is also an option. You continue to use the pacifier during naps and as comfort when your child needs it. If your child wakes up and needs the pacifier again, you simply provide it again.
TIP: For speech development and dental development, it's best to limit the use of the pacifier after 6 months. At that point, choose to use the pacifier only during brief moments of comfort and/or only during moments of sleep.
7 months to 2,5 years old
Okay, you made it this far. Maybe the pacifier is just now starting to cause you headaches? Or maybe you'd like to know if it's better to leave the pacifier out now or wait a little longer?
After 7 - 8 months, it is a lot harder to ditch the pacifier "cold turkey". Your child has become attached to it and it has become a sleep association. Again, there are a number of options:
In some cases, you can still "exchange" the pacifier for a nice cuddly or little toy without too much trouble. One with "paws" or ears is nice because they can suck on it themselves.
In most cases it is better to wait until your child is a little older (2,5 - 3 years old) to say goodbye to the pacifier. You can teach your child to handle the pacifier on its own from now on.
Learning how to handle the pacifier independently, how do you do that?
Instead of putting the pacifier in the mouth, start by putting the pacifier in your child's hand and guiding the hand to the mouth. If that works well, continue to show where the pacifier is by gently patting the mattress. Your child will then learn to take the pacifier by itself and put it in its mouth.
TIP: Place several pacifiers in bed or hang the pacifier on a cuddly so your child will find it more quickly.
2,5 – 3 years old
Now it's really time to ditch the pacifier. Tell your child that we won't be using it anymore. There are a number of fun ways to make that happen:
Give the pacifier to Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, ...
Give the pacifier to the baby brother/sister
Go to a "pacifier-tree" in the neighborhood and hang the tutor in it
Read a fun story around saying goodbye to the pacifier.
I don't recommend shortening the pacifier by cutting a piece off each time. On some websites you can read that this is also an option, but because of the danger of choking it is really not recommended.
And remember: once the pacifier is gone, it really is gone.
Still finding it hard to get started or want some extra feedback? During a one-on-one consult I can certainly help you out! You can book a consult via this link.
If there are several things you'd like to tackle, be sure to check out my sleeping packages!